• Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes & then suddenly stop and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you.

• Type frantically, often stopping to look at the person next to you evilly.

• Before anyone else is in the lab, connect each computer to a different screen than the one it's set up with.

• Bring a chainsaw, but don't use it. If anyone asks why you have it, say "Just in case..."

• Ask around for a spare disk. Offer $2. Keep asking until someone agrees. Then, pull a disk out of your pants and say, "Oops, I forgot."

• Try to stick a Nintendo cartridge into the floppy disc drive, when it doesn't work, get the supervisor.

• Assign a musical note to every key (i.e. the Delete key is A Flat, the B key is F sharp, etc.). Whenever you hit a key, hum its note loudly. Write an entire paper this way.

• Borrow someone else's keyboard by reaching over, saying "Excuse me, mind if I borrow this for a sec?", unplugging the keyboard & taking it.

• Run into the computer lab, shout "Armageddon is here!" and then calmly sit down and begin to type.

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Revised: 23 Nov 99